In the picture it looks kind of like a hermit crab. But no, it is a spider. Does anybody know what kind of spider it is? This is my new quest. I have never seen anything so freaky.
Of course this happened while Travis was at work. In a meeting. I took a gazillion pictures of this THING so I can look it up online later. I called Travis two or three times in a row on both of his numbers and kept leaving messages about this monster spider on our front door. Yes, this was an "interrupt the meeting" kind of emergency! I wanted him to tell me how to catch it or kill it. This whole time I'm shuddering with the heebie-jeebies. Finally, he answered the phone and said he had left the meeting to take the call. When I told him what was going on he laughed at me. That was not the reaction I was hoping for. I wanted him to drop everything and jump on his horse to fly home like my knight in shining armor does and save me from this dragon on our front porch. You'd do that right, Travis? Hmm...not for a "dumb" spider. He said, "Just kill it." I asked stupidly, "With the end of a shovel handle?" (Who thinks of killing spiders with that sort of weapon?) He told me that would make it too difficult. Duh. "Just knock it off the door and step on it." Interrupt for a heebie-jeebie dance. "I can't do that. This thing is gigantic. I can't just step on it! EEEWWWWWW!" "Well I can't just come home." "O.K., I'll figure something out." End of conversation. More pacing.
Then I hear Tyler crying in the house. Oh right, he probably thinks I have abandoned him. I ran in through the garage to summon my two knights-in-training who would hopefully jump to my aid. I told them I needed their help to get a huge spider. They ran outside full speed to see our celebrity spider. Justin says, "Oh yeah, that's kind of big, Mom." And then he promptly ran over to the other side of the house to build a stream from the garden hose. Tyler on the other hand runs so fast he almost skids into the creepy crawler. "Oh Mom. What are you going to do with it?" "I need to get rid of it." Tyler thought about my answer and said, "When I get bigger, I'll just hit it with my shoe. But his spider family will miss him." And off he ran to splash in Justin's stream.
After I paced for another 10 minutes holding Travis' basketball shoe, Justin said, "Why don't you just knock it down with this broom and than hit it?" What a smart boy. The extra-long broom stick gave me a big boost of bravery and with a big swipe and a "ha-yah!" he was a goner. And I feel much better now. As long as his little spider family doesn't come looking for me...I'm spooked.